September 13th // journal entries 010

September 13th, 2013

  It's been two years since I saw you, held you. Two years. It's been so long, and I wish I could say that we made it after all that time, but I can't.
 I can still feel your hand pressed against the back of my head as you held me in that parking lot. It felt to good, to have you hold me like you were never going to let go. But then it was time to do so and I couldn't stop thinking it wouldn't be the last- we will still have another time to hold each other.
That's all over now, isn't it? I'll never be able to hold you like I did that day, tell you I love you like I did that day, be with you like I did that day.
I don't blame you for what has happened, for all the things that have happened. I wish they didn't- gosh I wish they didn't. It hurts to look back at what we used to be and to look at us now. Everything has changed, and as much as I wish it would just go back- it won't. Nothing will ever be the same, except for the memories we made that day. I will continue to treasure them close to my heart, every single day.
 Forever only exists in moments, it could last for days or just a second... Forever is more like a feeling you get... and, well, that Friday afternoon I had my forever. 

 Thank you. For letting it happen. 




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