Some days I find it harder to take a step back and breathe. I have moments in which I become so overwhelmed with myself, I don't know how to cope. And yes, I've actually cried a couple of times.
I put a lot on my plate. To some people, it may not seem like much. To me, it feels like an obnoxious headache.
Be sure to write.
You should really draw!
You need to practice the ukulele like you promised yourself you would!
It seems like I am not enjoying myself while doing the things that I love to do because I am so pressured in making sure that I actually do them.
What am I doing wrong?
Here's the thing: I love being productive. I love getting stuff done. But sometimes, it's to the point that it is almost making me unproductive. Every morning, I set myself up for failure. I mentally prep myself by saying "Oh, I'm going to get so much done today." But it turns out to be the opposite- or so it feels.
Busy is not productive! (As I have learned from the lovely Abbiee)
How am I able to stop being just busy and start being progressive? This is a thought that enters my mind throughout various times in the day and I'm not gonna lie... it stresses me out, yo.
I don't know how to separate fun time and school time. As I am writing this post, I also have my essay tab opened (now I closed it because it was bothering me). You see, I love to multitask. And there's nothing wrong with it! But it's nice to separate things that are work and things that should be fun. That way, you have a reward system. WHICH IS SOMETHING I NEED.
Sometimes I feel like I need to worry about things that are important because, to me, they feel like they are sooo important, I can't go a second without worrying about them. But hey, that's actually not the case.
Worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.
This is a quote my grandmother always kept on the front of her refrigerator. It's something I need to remind myself and others as well. If you can't fix something or do something right away, there's no sense in worrying about it.
This weekend I decided not to do a to-do list (a physical one, anyways) and see how it works for me. I'm taking a step back to catch my breath. I need it. You need it. We all do. I mean, isn't that how we, you know, live?
Thank you for listening to me vent.
xx Kenzie
