hands - journal excerpt

Sometimes she thinks about your hands.
Not in the way one may think about someone’s height or what size shoe they wear.
Sometimes she thinks about your hands in the way they look- long and fierce, soft and gentle. How they hold pieces of you.
Your hands are part of you, in a way that describes how you feel and who you are.
Sometimes she thinks that your hands still hold the person you once were; in the webs between your fingers, and along the lines in your palms.
The upper layers of our skin create new cells every two weeks. It’s been so much longer than that. Our skin no longer remembers one another. Parts of her can’t help but think that your hands still recollect the small moment you two had with each other- that they might actually remember her.
The way it felt to have your fingers intertwined with hers; and how she regretted pulling them away instantly after they did.
Are those recollecting feelings- hand in hand, skin on skin- actually memories for our bodies alone?
Sometimes she thinks about the way your palm pressed into her back while you hugged each other. Sometimes she thinks about how that very action expressed so many emotions: safety, protectiveness, strength, kindness, and affection.
Sometimes she thinks about what would happen if you put your current selves in that same position; when you held each other as if nothing else existed. Would your hands still touch the way they did? Perhaps, if they do remember one another. If not, would your hands remember how to hold hers and reach out for them like they did when she wanted them to, so badly?
Sometimes she thinks they might.
Sometimes she thinks she thinks- hopes- they are the only thing left that hold what was once between your souls.

I don't know you anymore.

6 years | Blogging Through the Ages

It's the first of February and you know what that means... It's my blogger self's birthday!*

*DISCLAIMER: As you read this post, pretend it is yesterday (February 1st) and you are in the same state as you were this time that day. Mkay?

Today, six years ago, I decided to create my very first blog and join the blogging community. That simple action has taken me on this crazy, beautiful, blessed journey through my life. I have changed so much since then but I still continue to be part of the blogosphere (do you kids still call it that?) to this day.
Speaking of change... I thought it would be interesting if we were to reflect upon the person I was through those six years.
Yeah, I was going to "roast" myself in a positive way, but I couldn't do it without actually roasting myself so I thought I'd try this.

What six years of blogging really looks like:


I thought the perfect birthday gift to myself would create a blog (after I had stalked a billion other blogs), so why not start it on a date that is easy to remember? Haha, well guess what, 2011 Kenz? You forget every. dang. year. 
I literally remembered while I was trying to fall asleep last night. (Always count on sleep to remember important things for you.)
That year my blogging style was post-a-bible-verse-once-a-day-and-talk-non-stop-about-life-and-American-girl-dolls. While starting a conversation with every internet encounter who was a.) my age or younger, and b.) liked American Girl dolls as well.

Moving on.


My prime time. Ah yes, that was the year my blogging style changed drastically from doll photoshoots to fangirling and living/breathing over The Hunger Games. I discovered Instagram that year so my blogging journey had taken a little hiatus.  


My real prime time. This was the year I was totally, completely, utterly in love with life. Hence, my happy place. I finally got back into blogging, and boy was I glad. I had a gorgeous blog design (two, actually) and regulars who commented on my once-a-day posts ('sup fam). Those posts consisted of me fangirling over Rosie's face 99.9% of the time. The other percent was dedicated to her left thumb. Bless that work of art. Another itty bitty percentage was fangirling over books and posting pictures I found on Pinterest (with credit, of course).


My posts became deeper, I think? I went on another hiatus and when I got back, I was on my third design (the one I currently have). I began blogging a bit until I went on, you know it, another hiatus. 


Of course, I came back. I always do. That year my posts got even deeper and I began focusing on inspirational/motivating writing. 


Last year I began focusing on more collaborative projects. And let me just say that collaborations are FUN.


Six years later, I am still here, writing to you all. I feel as though my blogging style has changed, but not too drastically. I mean, I still laugh at the lame comical remarks I put in almost every post. This year, I suppose, I want to keep up with what I have going on now but strive to be better at it. Meaning, I want to help make my blog grow. 

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through my blogging life. I couldn't have done it without you. <3 But before I go, how does a little life update sound?

Life recaps:

- I finished three books in the month of January.
- My love for pizza is still growing.
- I GOT BANGS. Ever since I saw this picture over the summer, I had been wanting bangs. I was still hesitant on the idea due to my skin type (and the fact that I don't like it when my hair is in my face) but I got them and I am in love. The bedhead and styling are something I need to work on, but I feel like this was the right decision. *slips nerdy glasses on* I also feel more like a professional blogger. *winks at crowd*  
- I'm volunteering at our church's pasta dinner this month. (My inner Italian is screaming.)
- I had a hay day at Michael's last week. I got art supplies for my Valentine's day cards, and I am very excited to get started on them. (If only my homework could just wait to be done. Gosh, so demanding.)
- I am no longer a teen.
- What?
- Yep, you heard me.
- I'm sorry, what?
- I know, it's pretty hard to believe. I haven't felt more like a teen than I do now.
- So yeah. It was my birthday three days ago and I am now a mystical 20-year-old. I AM SO OLD, YOU GUYS. LIKE, I CAN LITERALLY FEEL MYSELF MELTING. DOES THAT MAKE ME THE EVIL WITCH OF THE WEST? OH NO, I'M OLD AND A WITCH!

Alright, I better leave now before I go into another mid-life crisis (I've had about 10 already, so it's nothing new). 

Talk to me...

How long have you been a blogger? Has your blogging style changed over the years? I wanna know. Thanks for reading. <3


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I love you, Kenzie. -Rosie

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