6/20/15 | 8:27pm ( My Mimi )


"You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine.
You make me happy,
when skies are gray.
You'll never know dear,
how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away..."

                 Over a week ago, my grandmother sang that song to my mother over voicemail. A week later, someone played that same song on the harmonica at her funeral.


 On June 20th, at 8:27pm, the most amazing woman anyone could ever know, my grandmother ( Mimi ), passed away. I stayed at the hospital for two days, the second day I sat there holding her hand as she slept and slept and slept and never woke up. I cried and cried, and cried... I started writing on my laptop as I sat next to her hospital bed. I had been wanting to write her a long letter trying to explain how much she means to me and how I see her through my eyes, but she was not able to read it.
It went a little something like this:

+++


Dear Mimi,

I almost-truly-believe no one could ever fathom how much you mean to me. Not just as my grandmother but as a person. Remember how I was the one who gave you the nickname “Mimi”? You would babysit me while Mama was gone and when it came time for you to leave, I would make grabby hands and shout: “Me! Me!”
I wanted you to stay then, and I want you to stay now. I know I’ve had time to write this but I couldn’t conjure up the courage to put all of these feelings into words, and even though you might not read this, I still want you to know- even if it is in Heaven- how much of an impact you have had on me. You have shaped me into the person I am today, and I couldn’t be anymore thankful.
When I think of you, Mimi, I think of the little things. The little things that create the meaning of happiness. For instance; the feeling I get when receiving your birthday gifts because I know there is a card with a long, thoughtful message written inside. Also, playing 500 Rummy. My favorite memories of us together usually have taken place right at your kitchen table, with a deck of cards. I know we could sit there for hours and hours just talking each other’s ears off and complaining about how Lila memorizes the cards. The game will never be the same without you.
You made each and every holiday the best. From wrapping presents together at Christmas time to playing charades together around the campfire on Fourth of July at the cottage.
Not all the little things were my only favorite memories, our vacations were a blast. I love traveling and going on historical tours with you, not because of the place itself, but because you were there beside me.
Mimi, you want to know one of the many things I love about you is? You know how to make someone feel special. I know a lot of people can agree with me on that one. Just by the way you ask about our lives and listen, and really talk to us as if I were one of the seven wonders of the world. You make conversation easy, you make someone feel confident with themselves, you make someone feel proud of their accomplishments (no matter how small they are), you make people feel important.
You want to know how I know that, Mimi? You have made me feel that way. Countless of times you have given me boosts of confidence even when I have doubted myself. You are continuously positive, no matter how hard life can be.
I could go on for ages on all of the little bits of happiness you have given me, and even if we won’t have those little things anymore, I will always remember how they felt and I will smile every time I think about it because I know that is what you would want.

+++



And even though, her physical form in not present, her presence is still vigorous, everlasting, and glistening with liveliness. She may not be here, but we can still sense her at every moment of the day. I want to thank her for leaving herself in little bits of our lives.

( Gosh, I'm starting to cry. One moment please... )

I'll miss you so much, Mimi. Nothing will ever be the same without you, it hurts so much that you're not here to talk to me or hold my hand while we go for our walks. I love you, Mimi, with all of my heart. <3
xx

P.S. So, this is why I haven't had the chance to post my guest posts (there are only two lol), it's been a really rough couple of weeks... hopefully I'll get back to posting (and reading). Just, not today.

P.P.S. I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for taking their time to reach out to me and pray/think for/about my family. Thank you so so so so much. It means a lot to me. <3 I love you all. *kisses*


IMPORTANT ( I need your help )

Hello my lovely cookies. This is going to be a really quick post– I'm currently writing it on my iPhone while on the way to the hospital, so I have to make it fast.
I don't know if you've read my posts from last year/end of 2013, but my grandma has been in and out of the hospital from chemo to radiation to all different surgeries, because, well, cancer freaking sucks. Right now things don't look good for her. The doctors are saying she might only have days... Which is really scary and I haven't stopped crying. So I'm asking you if you could please, please, please pray for my Mimi (grandma). It'll mean so much to me, thank you so much. ❤️ 


Guest Posters Wanted


It's June, and you know what that means, right? Busy Schedules. Isn't summer supposed to be laid back and "schedule" free? Well, I guess not. 

So, that is where you guys come in! I was wondering if any of you are interested in guest posting on my blog. I know you all are probably busy as well, but I'm sure you also want to sponsor your blog a little. Right...? Ah, come on. Don't tell me that doesn't sound tempting because I know you know it does. ;)

Perfect! Now, since you are busy yet very tempted to take this offer, I will make you a deal. Yes, not only will this cost $19.99- wait a second... now I'm sounding like an infomercial. Sorry guys, there's no money involved. Well, actually, that is probably a good thing. Who would want to pay almost twenty bucks to guest post on someone else's blog? 

ANYWAYS... Here's how to submit a guest post (only if you're interested, if not, maybe another time!):

Go to my "Contact" page and email me your guest post including these topics (along with your blog's button and link to your blog):

- When you started your blog and what it focuses on


- Name a couple blogs (links included) that have inspired you on your blogging journey


- Tell my readers about yourself a little 

And when I mean tell them about yourself, I mean to tell them your weird quirks, what you like to eat at one in the morning, oh! And your deepest, darkest secrets. Okay, maybe not the latter. But you know what I mean.

- Talk about something you are passionate about, we want to know what you're fangirling over these day ;)


- Best piece of advice you could give someone who is in need of inspiration

- BE YOU


Okay, so that is it. See where I'm going with this? It's kind of like an interview, but not quite. I'm basically just telling you to talk about your blog and yourself. I am not only doing these guest posts because I don't have a lot of time to write up my own posts, but I am also doing it to get to know you. I feel like I've been a bit distant from the blogging world and I want to get back into it, chat with bloggers again and get to know you. :)

There's no deadline to this, you may do it if you are interested and whenever! Oh, but make sure you title the email "Guest Posting".

You can also add whatever else you want to the guest post, as long as it is appropriate for all readers. :) The guest post doesn't have to be long, just a quick thing to introduce yourself a bit. You don't have to use all the topics above, but I would greatly appreciate it if you could stay near the topic of blogging and whatnot.  

Okay, I think that is it... Thank you so much for reading. <3 If you have any questions, just comment. I'll get back to you ASAP. :)

 kiss kiss, hug hug 

refresh // journal entries 003




Starting over because none of those feelings matter anymore– you're here and that's all I need.

+++

I started questioning my feelings- but when I looked into my future and saw you there, that's when I knew you were right where I wanted you to be.

May 30th 2015

I decided to start fresh and new with my journal entries- I want to get rid of all the icky feelings I felt and focus on the new, good feelings I now have.

Thanks for reading. <3

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I love you, Kenzie. -Rosie

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