never enough.


sometimes I feel that,
 anything I do someone in the world can do it better.
make it prettier,
more creative,
bigger,
better.
sometimes I feel that anything I ever do, 
is never good enough.
no matter what you do,
no matter how many times you do it,
it will never be good enough 
because there is someone out there that can do it better. 

ever feel that way?

I know, I do too. 



:: writer in action ::

hey there!

you might not remember me... my absence was so long, you're probably thinking "who is this girl?"
 oh wait-- someone just informed me that I was only gone for a week. that can't be possible because it felt much longer than a week... It felt more like a year!  Anywho... guess whattttt?! I'm back! So, here comes the part where I apologize to you for not posting in a while or commenting on your beautiful posts. *le sad face* and now here's the part when I tell you where I've been! I bet you are very curious for this part. *wink, wink*

for five days, I took a writing course on "how to write a YA novel". I learned a lot... a lot, a lot. and had the best time. the class was amazing. not only were we writing for three hours everyday, but we connected as well. everyone had something different about them, yet deep down we were all alike in some way... we had a passion to write. whether it was si-fi, a story taking place in the 80s, or just a story that ended with all your characters dead ( *cough* Ali *cough* ). The teacher ( Robert! ) was ah-mazing, and the best teacher I could ever ask for. he taught us a lot of things, some I didn't even know! and I believe that I have now improved in my writing, all thanks to him. :)  
in class we each got to write our own stories and some of us also got to bring in stories we've already written. the stories we wrote in class--but didn't get a chance to finish--were based off of a scene from The Fault in Our Stars novel by John Green. what we did was, create a character with cancer and then put them into the scene, which was the part where Hazel goes to the Support Group for teens with cancer. just so you know, if any of you have read that book. I haven't but I am going to someday. 
anyways --I'm getting off topic-- I thought that I would share a small chapter that I wrote for my character Grace.  Here is a little bit about my character before you start reading: 

Grace, is a sixteen year-old-girl with throat cancer. She is rather tiny for her age, very lean. Grace loves to sing but her talent has been effected by her illness. Her parents are divorced and she now lives with her mom, aunt, and three cousins. In this story, Grace faces different dramatic changes life has brought her. At times, she breaks and gets a little snappy or moody-- which you will see in the first chapter I will be showing you. She doesn't appreciate her illness like she should at points, but later on she learns to accept things are the way they are. 

so, now that you somewhat know what my character is like, here in the first chapter I wrote, Grace is going to a Cancer Support Group at her hospital:

"We're late!"  I yelled up to my mom who was carrying my youngest cousin, Lucy. 
Ever since my parents divorced, my aunt Aly moved in with her three children, Lucy, Peter, and James. All the ages of eight and below, Lucy being the youngest. 
Because my aunt was a single parent, like my mom, they both thought it was best if she moved in with us after what happened. And what I mean by that, is after I got sick with throat cancer a year ago. My doctor told me that I'm the strongest patient she's had, but with all the mood swings and depression, my mom and aunt thought, yet again, it would be best if I joined a Support Group. 

"I'm coming!" I stumbled up the steps of the hospital building. I rolled my eyes with annoyance once I reached the top. "If you didn't force me here against my will, we wouldn't be late in the first." I huffed. 

"Just please hurry up and get inside, it's already half past two." my mom begged. 

I stormed passed her as Lucy cried in her arms. "Oh yay, she's crying. Again." I said sarcastically while walking up to the front desk inside. 

"Where is the teen Support Group?" I asked, somewhat nicely. 

"Down the right and to your left." she pointed, with a bright smile. How could someone seem so happy in a hospital full of sick people? 

I thanked her then went on my way. The hallways are cold and lonesome, yet filled with people. My shoulder brushed against a lady wearing a black suit.  "Watch it!" she scowled.
"S-sorry." I muttered. She ignored me and continued walking in her platform heels. Jeez, people. I thought to myself as I walked up to the two double doors that read "22 B" on a sign placed beside the two doors. 
I took a deep breath and walked into the unfamiliar room, alone. The scent of moth balls grazed my nostrils as stepped into the cold room, all eyes on me. I didn't mind much since I was used to the attention from performing and whatnot. Yes, I am a singer. Or used to be, until this happened. I used to sing in the church choir and in school performances, but that's all over now. I can never go back to doing what I love most, singing. Taylor will be very excited when I tell her I won't be singing in the school's musical this year. Taylor Scout and I had always been great friends, until our competitiveness got in the way of our friendship. It's fine with me, I don't care.

I walked over to an empty seat and sat down. I noticed the dirty tile of the floor and the tattered carpet underneath the round glass table in the center of the room. People began to talk, ignoring my presence. I felt a small knot forming in the pit of my stomach. My palms were sweaty and my feet were impatient. Was I nervous? Of course I was, I had all the symptoms. But why? 

I took a look around the room. Everyone was so different from each other, yet we were all here for the same reason. An older boy shared a few glances with a girl that looked to be about the same age as him. 
There was only on thought lingering in the back of my mind, that I couldn't get out. 

We're all going to die. 


I know it is pretty dramatic, and it is usually hard for me to read or watch things to do with cancer... but I thought you would like to read a little of what I was writing while I was absence. although, I have to admit, I was glad I took the class. I learned a lot of things and met a lot of great young writers, and I hope now to fulfill my life as a writer. 

there will be bumps along the way, but I want to treasure every moment of it. 




never give up. 




things I've learned about being a writer:

- there will be haters

- you will get discouraged 

- writing is a selfish thing 

- enjoy the adventure


Wonderwall

Wonderwall - Oasis 

I love this song. <3 You might have heard the version One Direction sang, but this is the original version. :)

have a beautiful day my lovelies! 

yay & nay [ #2 ]

::yay::

- Watching The Host! And then fangirling about how perfect it was and how all the actors are just fantastic.
- Watching the new Catching Fire trailer! ASDFGHJKL. PEETA!!!
- loving this girl <3 ...Rosie, Y U SO FLAWLESS?!
- >>> THIS POST <<<<
- feeling happy
- relaxing and reading on your grandpa's boat. 

::nay::
- having to return The Host because we only rented it. *sniffles* and I was in the middle of watching it for the second time...
- going to the bookstore and Beautiful Redemption isn't there. *sighs*
- summer almost to its end...
- being stressed out ( just a little... )
- wishing you could be a better writer.
- headaches. -_-
- wishing you could hug her. *sniffles*


and I think that's it... I always space out when it comes to talking about my week. >.<
thank you for reading. <3


five facts about me [ #2 ]

So, I decided to do the whole "five facts about me" thing on Friday instead of Thursday... but you guys probably don't care. XD Anyways....

::five facts about me::

one - I love to swim. I can be in a pool, lake, or ocean all day... as long as the water and air is warm.

two - I love romance... but you probably already guessed that from reading my short stories. #hopelessromantic

three - I love to draw. or paint. or anything creative with my hands. but mostly drawing or sketching. 

FOUR - ...I can't wait for the Divergent movie and third book! But that really isn't a fact, it's more like an annoucement. 

five - My favorite store is any store with books ( mainly Barnes and Noble ). I much rather buy books than clothes, even though I deparetly need them... I just love books. 


whelp, there yah go. Hope you guys are having an awesomely hot day. 

Courage { a short story }


[ story inspired by this photo ]


"Dear father, oh how I wish so badly you could be here." 

The words flow across the paper and as I continue to write, there's a knock at the door. I look over my shoulder, and see two shadows coming from behind the closed door. I quietly shut the pages of my journal together, not daring to wake the little child sound asleep in bed. Picking up a candle, I make my way to the door. 
Pound.
Pound.
"I'm coming, I'm coming." I fasten my pace and quickly unlatch the door's lock. 
Opening the door, two big men storm inside. Moving furniture, and throwing books around, tearing the room apart. I try my best the hold my anger in. "Is there something you need to find? Or perhaps you could take your nonsense business elsewhere." 

"Where is it?" The biggest man turns toward me. "Show us where it is!" He demands. 

"Where is what?" I ask, confuse.

I see him roll his eyes in frustration. "Don't play stupid, show us where it is... or else." 

"O-or else what?" 

I follow his eyes toward the bed, where the child--Elizabeth, who is now awake--sits. And a sudden thought rushes to my mind. 

"No! Not Elizabeth!" I rush to the bed, but the second man makes it just before me. He grabs hold of the child's small arm. Tears streaming down her cheeks, Elizabeth cries out. "No!"

 Without thinking, I throw my body in front of her's. "Take me!" The words rush out of my mouth before I can realize what I have done. "Take me." The men look at each other. "Just please, don't hurt her." I grab Elizabeth's hand and gently squeeze it. "Please..." I say one last time, more softly. 

The two men nod, and helps me onto my feet. Their hands still hold my arms. "I can walk on my own." Hesitantly, they remove their hands and gesture me out of the room. 

Right before exiting the room, Elizabeth runs up to me and clings onto my leg, "Don't leave!" she cries.

 I bend down beside her and take both of her hands in mine. "It's going to be okay. Everything will be okay." I lean in and press my lips to her forehead. I can feel the tears swelling into my eyes and I know I have to leave before she sees. 
The two men push me out the door before I could say one last goodbye. Maybe it was a good thing... I couldn't bare to see those sparkling blue eyes again. But I know I've done the right thing. At least I hope so. 
Now, I let the tears free, not caring if the men standing on either side see me. We walk up the a horse and carriage and the biggest man pushes me inside. 

"Keep an eye on her, we don't want her getting away like last time." Last time? What did he mean by that? 
The second man climbs inside and sits across from me. I let my gaze study on my hands, until I realize he's staring at me. I look up and he holds out a tattered piece of fabric. Without a word I take it and wipe my cheeks softly. 

"You're strong." I hear him speak quietly, probably not wanting the other man to hear him. 

"I-I'm what?" I reply, shock to hear his compliment.

"You have courage, therefore you are strong." 

I don't know what to say, so instead I hand him back the handkerchief and stare out the window. I try not to let my mind wonder, instead I keep my thoughts clear and focus on the world. 

Where am I going?

What will they do?

How will I get away?

I close my eyes and soon drift off to sleep.  



where are they taking her? what were they looking for?

---
How did you like it? I know, its not very good and there must be quite a few mistakes but I hope you enjoyed it. :) 
Before I go, I just want to thank you all for 46 followers. I never thought I would get this many, since I only started this blog in spring. So, thank you all for everything. I really appreciate it. <3 

have a beautiful day. :) 





ever?

[ via

ever wanted to do something?
ever wish you could be apart of something?
 like a team? 
ever wish you could do something, but you're too old now? 
ever wish you could go back to that window of opportunity and say to yourself, 
"yes. I want to do that." 
but can't? 
ever feel frustrated that there might be an age limit to things?
or because you haven't had enough experience ?
ever feel like you want to try new things but you're afraid you won't like them,
and realize it was a waste of time?

ever wanted to play soccer,
or softball
or tennis?
but not have a clue on where to start?

ever wanted to dance?
yet, you can't? 

yes, there's something out there for everyone.
don't worry you'll find it.
just make sure you don't miss it.
because you might even regret it.

don't hesitate, 
do what you want to do. 



technical question: Maybe someone can answer this for me. You know how when you put a button on your sidebar and you can title it, for example "follow this blog" or "check out my blog" ? Well whenever I try to title a button on my blogs' sidebar and click save, it won't appear on my blogs. I don't know why. And the thing is, it's not only with buttons but with other things too. Maybe any of you have had the same problem? ...am I making any sense? 

anyways,
thanks for reading! :)




trying.



[ photo via Pinterest ]


i'm trying,
trying.
things don't seem to fit.
i'm losing it.
please help,
no one can't bare.
the secrets and struggles,
no one seems to care.
i'm trying, 
trying. 
making things work.
don't give up,
things will come.
i'm trying,
trying.
don't lose hope.
you're doing great,
don't give up.

try \\ don't give up 

Clarity.

"Clarity" - Zedd 

I love this song. <3 

hope you do too. :) 

*breaks into song* 
"IF OUR LOVE IS A TRAGEDY, WHY ARE YOU MY REMEDY!" 

*cough* sorry about that... 

bai. 

yay & nay [ #1 ]

inspired by this and this, I will now be doing the pros and cons about my week. :) 

:: yay :: 
-coming up with a new story idea. 
- getting to spend the day with your grandma ( Mimi ). I love her so much. <3
- making an awesome get well card for your cousin.
- being awesome at sharpie tattoos ( oh yeah. )
-swimming in the lake off your grandpa's boat. 
-having Nutella 
-signing up for a writing course
-having the best followers ever. I LOVE YOU GUYS! 
-staying up past 1am, and fangirling with the bestest hg buddy there is. <3 
( ^^^ best for last. ;) )

:: nay ::
- losing interest in writing a book you want to write. *sighs*
- wondering why you can't write like this girl
- having a huge bruise on your shin from your brother trying to push you into the lake. ( not cool bro. )
- still haven't seen The Host
- or the Entertainment Weekly magazine on Divergent!
- hating distance problems. 
- just feeling, blah
- not wanting summer to end.
- having a list of things to get done and not having enough time to do them.
- figuring out a way to make sharpie tattoos last longer.
- wanting Nutella. 


hope you all had a great week! 


summer blues

{ photo source: either 1 or 2 }

I dip my toe into the water, 
making circular ripples. 
I look up and feel the sun beating down onto my face. 
I take in the scent of the breeze as it runs pass me. 
Why can't summer be like this every day? 
Why can't every day be like this?
I start to kick my feet against the water and feel the splash against my legs. 
I smile with delight. 
I don't want this to end. 

                                          ~~~
anyone else feeling sad that summer is almost at its end? I know you might be thinking, "What? It's not almost over! We still have the rest of July and August!" but if you think about it,  time is flying by really fast. I haven't even gotten to do half the things I wanted to this summer. *le sigh* well, I hope you all are having a great summer! :)

before I go, I just wanted to say an extra thank you for all the extremely sweet comments you guys leave me. I just love you, okay? again, thank you so much. it means so much to me... you all mean so much to me. :)

* hugggg and kisssss *


P.s. don't you just want to jump into that water in the picture? it look so refreshing... plus, I'm very hot. :P hehe. 

tale of two kids { a short story }



I walked outside into the morning air. The grass was damp beneath my feet but the breeze was warm. I found myself a good spot to read in today. After walking across the lawn, I opened the big barn doors and made my way inside. The sun was just peeking through the cracks of the barn and the birds were already out to sing. 
I sat down, opened my book, and made myself comfortable. Within minutes I was lost in words. 

"Whatcha got there?" A small head peeked from behind the haystack. 

"Jim!" I yelled. "Get outta here, I'm tryin' to read."

"I hate reading." Jim climbed over and plopped down next to me. 

I moved in discomfort.  "You shouldn't hate reading." 

"But I do. It's so... boring." He grabbed my book and flipped the pages back and forth. 

I sighed. "Have you ever tried?" 

He shook his head and looked down. "I dunno how." 

I was taken aback for a moment but then smiled, to comfort him. "That's okay. I'll teach you." 

His eyes widen with delight. "Really?" 

"Really." I slowly took the book from his hands. "Just let me read to myself today, and tomorrow we will start our lessons. Okay?"

He jumped up with joy, "Okay!" then ran out of the barn before giving me the chance to reply. I smiled and continued with my reading. 


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Remember the time you taught me out to read?" 

I look up at him, staring down at me in his arms. "Like it was yesterday." 

I feel his lips press to my forehead. "Those were the best times." 

I close my eyes and sigh happily to myself. "They were." 

"And now we can make more memories." 

I look up at him, confused. He starts to stand, leaving me sitting on the bench. 

I let out a small giggle. "What are you doing?" 

And before I know it, he's on his left knee... holding a ring box. 

"Will you be mine forever?" He looks up into my eyes. 

Tears roll down my cheeks and I manage to speak. "Yes." 

I stand up and wrap my arms around his neck then whisper into his ear. 

"Y-e-s. Yes." 
tale of two kids || she said yes 

How did you like it? :) I hope you enjoyed my short story for this week.

have a beautiful day. 





five facts about me. #1

'ello everyone! How's it going? Good? I hope so. :)
So, earlier today I was suppose to introduce you to something new I'm going to start doing. Well, it's not entirely new... I did start it when I started this blog but never continued on with it because I didn't like how I was doing it... blahblahblah. :P You all are probably very confused right now, aren't you? Let me just cut to the chase. 
I am going to start posting random little things every Thursday ( at least I hope today is Thursday...) about myself so that you guys can get to know me better. Does that make sense? I hope so...
Now, shall I start? 

5 facts about me:

- I am the eldest of five. 
- I love swimming.
- I hate corn.
- I love dogs
- My feet are (currently) cold. 

Hope you all are having an awesome summer!

stay beautiful. <3 

let it out.


the tears fall, 
drop,
and shatter.
"am I weak?"
no.
"am I brave?"
yes.
"then why must I cry?"
even the bravest heroes need a moment.
to unwind.
to let it out.
to take a break.
it's been too long.
it's your time now.
cry.
let it out. 
you aren't weak...
you've just been strong for too long.
so cry.
it's okay. 

cry \\ let it out 


dreaming upon


stepping out
looking upon 
dreaming about
swimming along
crickets chip
animals lurk
I see myself 
dreaming upon 
feeling what's real
even if it's just a dream
i'm still looking about
wondering what is that sound
still dreaming
dreaming
dreaming upon.

|| dreaming upon ||


feeling: 

happy; because The Host is out on DVD today. *fangirl moment*

sad; because Beautiful Redemption wasn't at the bookstore. *sad fangirl moment* 






Lego House-Ed Sheeran

Lego House-Ed Sheeran

I just think this music video with the legos is so cute and very talented. :)
Ed Sheeran, you are a song writing angel. <3 

have a beautiful day. 

|| *sniffles* summer is almost over... ||

you're beautiful.


you don't realize it, do you?

you don't understand, do you? 

a girl so beautiful and so blind. 

how?

you, and everything you do, is beautiful.

how is it me that only sees?

is it my eyes only?

no, it cannot be.

don't you see?

the world sees it too,

except for you. 

you are beautiful. 

not in looks,

not in clothes,

but in who you are.

you. are. beautiful.

:: stay beautiful ::


"Never."


He laughs as I try to wiggle my way out of his arms. 
"Let me go." 
I giggle. 
"No." 
he protests.
"Please? I don't want to get wet." 
"Don't be such a baby." 
He walks toward the water and I can feel the mist from the waves against my legs.
"I'm not a baby, I just don't like jumping into freezing cold water. Unlike you." 
I smirk, playfully.
"Please, let me go." 
I whine just before my feet meet the water.
"No." 
Too late, I feel the water up to our waists.
Freezing, just as I suspected.
"Why did you-"
Before I can finish my sentence, he dives our heads under the water. 
I gasp when I come up for air. 
Then realize he isn't holding me anymore.
"Where are you?" 
I look around, trying to stay afloat. 
Suddenly, I feel a tug on my leg. 
"AH!" 
I scream and he pops his head out from the water.
"Gotcha." 
I splash water at him.
"Not funny!" 
He splashes back and I giggle.
"Okay, okay." 
We stop, and he wraps his arms back around me. 
I lean my forehead against his.
After a few moments, I whisper in his ear.
"Don't ever leave me."
"Never." 

|| forever ||


fourth of july.


giggles.

laughs.

summer.

fun.

I feel the warm summer night's breeze run through my hair as I wait to watch. 
I poke a stick around in the campfire.
"when are the fireworks coming?" 
I hear a squealing sound and I look up.
the first few fireworks go off high into the night sky.
children cheer as they run across the lawn with sparklers. 
I stand up and join them with my own sparkler. 
we run around in the field and laugh all our worries away.
I stop in the middle of the field and let the others run ahead of me.
I stand there, alone, and close my eyes.
if only every day, every night, could be as perfect as this one.
maybe that is why it is so perfect...because it isn't just an every day or an every night. 
it's one night. the night we are reminded of our freedom. 
the one night that feels like summer.
I open my arms our wide and smile.
because at this very moment, I am happy. 

|| Happy Fourth Of July || 






\\ torn \\


teary eyes
wheatherd
torn
something you may not recognise
she wears clothes she’s never worn
torn
she’s just a girl
making her way through this world
give her a break
for pete's sake
deep inside she's just blind.

\\ torn \\

where did those words come from? O_o I was just brushing my teeth this morning and all of a sudden they came to me. sorry if it's a little really dramatic. I just wanted to share them with you. even though they aren't good, like at all. :P I don't even think I was rhyming properly...
anyways, what are your plans for the fourth? :)
I believe tonight my family and I are going for a boat ride to watch fireworks over the lake.
and one more thing before I leave...
so when I logged on today I could not believe my eyes.
40 followers.
40!
I am so happy, thank you all so much for following my blog and listening to my random words.
I really appreciate it. Love you all. <3

have a beautiful day!


update: make that 41 followers! =O

irresistible.

Irresistible-One Direction 

I just love this song. <3 

sorry for the short post. >.< 

hello July.

       Facebook'ello July.

what will you bring to me this year?

why did you have to come so fast?

weren't you just here? 

but now that is in the past. 

be good to me, alright?

please be bright.

and better than June.

I can't take this rain,

it really is a pain. 

oh July,

I would love if you gave me some sunshine.

then I'd be all fine. 

welcome, welcome, welcome July. 

\\ hello July \\


I really wish this rain will stop. It's freezing out. >.<  Before I go, I just want to personally thank everyone for all the beautiful comments I have received on my blog since I started it. You all are too amazing for words. You honestly don't know how blessed I am to have you all and to hear your very encouraging words almost everyday. :) So, thank you. Thank you all so much for everything. You have no idea how much it means to me. 

Also, another thing before I go... I have received a few comments about my short stories that I have posted. I will be posting more short stories in the near future, so don't worry. :) I am very flattered that you all actually like reading my writings. It means the world to me. <3 

hope you have a beautiful day . 






                                                                                                           



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I love you, Kenzie. -Rosie

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